I was reading Stomp the other day, and came across this confession.
It’s about a guy who feels that he doesn’t have any true friends. He keeps a small group of close friends rather than a huge group of hi-bye friends but he ends up being lonely over the weekends and pretty much hangs out… alone at home.
Another problem is he always contributes/shares for the present when there is a friend’s birthday but never gets any presents or birthday wishes on his own birthday.
To quote him: “It’s not about the presents or the amount of money that I have to fork out, which varies from $20 to $50, it is about being appreciated and acknowledged by your so-called group of friends.”
I feel particularly sorry for him. I feel that way for myself sometimes too.
It REALLY ISN’T about the present. There are no need for any presents. When you’re working, you can pretty much afford anything you want.
You plan your friend’s birthdays and celebrate with them, because they are special to you and you truly want to celebrate it with them. It’s the company and recognition the group gives to you. It’s them telling you that they care about you. Even if it’s only one slice of cake, I will be happy.
If I celebrate your birthday every year and you just conveniently forget about mine every year, it hardly makes me feel important, no?
There are friends I used to hang out with who I celebrated birthdays for every year but they don’t ever bother about mine. Heck, I was there for all of X’s birthdays but he never celebrated mine for all the years we knew each other.
There are friends who I hang out with now, that I make the effort to contribute to their presents and be there for their celebrations but they don’t bother about mine too. At the end of the day, I am not being superficial and saying that – oh, you don’t remember about my birthday, so I am gonna stop friend-ing you. I am not that lame, thank you. But please, don’t take me for granted because people get tired of always giving but never being on the receiving end.
But thank you, for those who bothered, even with a slice of cake, or a meal, and wished me in person. I truly truly appreciate it.